Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
