Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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