i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
