Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
