I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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