Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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