Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm too high and old for this...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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