it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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