New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
