i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
