I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
