he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize