I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
