my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You smell like stripper and shame
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
