I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
