the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I said "one day" and that day is not today
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
