So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
