Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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