I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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