his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
