i just wanna soil my oats bro
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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