And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
