It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
