If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I pour the whiskey from now on
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
