every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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