I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
