Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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