she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
