this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
