is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
