capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
