she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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