who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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