It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
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Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
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I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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