i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
