I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
