was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
