We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
