TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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