no you cant smoke seaweed
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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