Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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