You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
