ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
