Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
