I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
