It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
