He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
