So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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