This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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