He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
