When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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