he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
