yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
