google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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