i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize