guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
