Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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