Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
