How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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