so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
