I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
