when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
