Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
